Jezebel Flynn takes on Berlin

“Who is this Jezebel Flynn and why is she on my internet?” you may ask.

Well, you, specifically, may not be asking anything, but some one, somewhere, is. You can eavesdrop on my answer if you like.

This is what I’ve learned about me after living with myself for eighteen years.

1. Every year on my birthday, I get a year older.

2. I’m a very good liar.

3. I’m also pretty good at spitting. I’m like a camel that way.

4. I am not like a camel in that I get dehydrated very fast. I regularly have three different kids of drinks with me while I’m on the computer. I drink an ungodly amount of green tea.

5. I have an Amelie hair cut, but I’d look much more like Amelie if I didn’t dye my hair what my stylist calls “Addison red”.

My hair has never ever looked like this. My stylist is on crack.

6. It’s a Wonderful Life is my second favorite movie of all time.

7. Hard-boiled eggs gross me out.

8. I watch Thumbelina when I’m in a bad mood. There were points in high school when I could recite the whole movie from memory, but I haven’t been able to watch it lately because there isn’t a working VCR in my house.

9. I have an icky wart on my right pinkie finger.

10. I live near the west side of Chicago in a house that is over a century old and makes the noises to prove it. My house makes so many noises that lately I’ve become quite bad at sleeping.

11. I don’t have a job, but I’ve applied for five in the last week, so hopefully that will change soon.

12. Last semester, I lived in Japan to work as a nanny for my cousins: Spunky (2), Grumpy (4), Giggles (6), and Turtle (8). Now I’m going to community college two days a week with an undecided major. Which would you rather be doing?

13. When my grandma was alive and living in a retirement home, I used to say “triskaidekaphobia” as many times as I could on the way up the elevator, because there was no thirteenth floor and I like long words.

14. I have a little brother, Chief, who is my favorite person in the entire world.

15. I freeze up faster than you would think humanly possible if I suspect someone of flirting with me.

16. I make the best cheesecake in Cook County.

17. Next year, I’m going to Hofstra University, but I suspect I’ll still have no idea what I want to major in when I do get there.

18. I can name all fifty states, but I couldn’t tell you where half of them are.

19. My number one top dream vacation spot is Bergen, Norway. Too bad it’s crazy expensive.

20. I really really really like cheese. Like, a lot. My mom got me a huge cheddar wheel for Christmas this year, and it was divine.

21. I took ballet for ten years, and quit finally when my mom caught me ditching class at the library.

22. I can’t go to the library anymore because I owe them about forty dollars in late fees, so I buy all my books from a thrift store a few blocks from my house.

23. I read a lot of books. My favorite book is Wicked by Gregory Maguire. He’s my favorite author.

24. If I had a daughter, I would name her Fuchsia after the flower, but if I had a son I would name him Gabriel, after the angel. This is weird even to me, because I’m an atheist and I don’t believe in angels. Nonetheless, I’m a big fan of angelology. I might also name a daughter Kaylee, after the character on Firefly, or a son Wesley, after Westley in The Princess Bride, whose name is better without the T. I want kids more than anything else in the world.

25. I think twenty-five facts is more than enough for one of these lists.

xJezebel